Let me tell you what it is like to have Dysgraphia as an adult.
Remember at school when you used to get a pen license? Well, I never officially passed the test. I believe the teacher felt sorry for me. She just gave it to me as I was the last student to receive one. She realised that I was never going to be a neat writer. I was thrilled to get it; however, deep down, I felt sad and disappointed and wondered why I wasn’t like the other kids. I never expressed my fear of being different; I just pretended nothing was wrong. Then in Year 12, back when you had to hand-write your exams, I had to apply for special consideration so the assessor could have additional time to read my writing. At that stage, I still had no name for my condition and went on pretending everything was okay.
What is dysgraphia?
Dysgraphia is a neurological learning disability that affects your writing ability and fine motor skills. It occurs in both children and adults and is common among individuals with ADHD. Dysgraphia can be acquired, usually from a brain injury or a degenerative condition, or developmental, more common in children. Dysgraphia inhibits spelling, legibility, word spacing, word sizing, and expression. In children, it presents in the mechanics of writing and fine motor skills, and in adults, more so in difficulties in grammar, syntax, comprehension, or generally transferring thoughts onto paper.
Effects on working life
When I started my first job, everyone would joke that I should have been a doctor because of my writing. However, a doctor could write neatly if needed, I couldn’t. I remember consciously trying to mimic and copy other people’s way of writing, however, I could not keep a consistent style, often forgot to cross my ‘t’s or add the stalks to ‘t’s and ‘a’s. My writing was also a mishmash of capital and lowercase, and I often used a little arrow to add in words I had missed.
Everyday affects
Later on, after I had children, writing notes to their teacher filled me with anxiety. In the end, I used a ruler to hold my pen steady and stay on the lines. At this point, I still had no idea that I had dysgraphia. Even writing Christmas and birthday cards is, to this day, a struggle. Now that I type, I find my dysgraphia shows up differently – I often place letters in the wrong order. I am heavily reliant on autocorrect and grammar apps, like Grammarly.
No cure
A few years ago, when I saw a medical professional for another issue, I was finally diagnosed with dysgraphia. It was a relief to have it named and know that I was in fact doing my best, rather than just being lazy or unmotivated to do better. I literally couldn’t or can’t make my writing any better. Since then, I have presumed my dysgraphia was through an acquired brain injury I had when I was 4 years old due to a cardiac arrest. No one really knows the cause of dysgraphia, there is no cure and it is not even listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
Strategies to assist
Because I hid my fear and struggles, I never received any assistance growing up. Today there are pen grips, special computer applications, and teachers are taught how to assist students with dysgraphia in their classroom. If you let your employer know of your diagnosis at work, they can also accommodate your needs. Type notes during meetings, ask for a copy of written materials, request extra time for written tasks or to showcase your work via an alternative method.
Dysgraphia is becoming more spoken about these days, and I wanted to share my experience and show that there is no shame in having it. You can live with this disorder and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life. You could even be the director ad founder of ann organisation like The National Autism and Spectrum Directory and write for a living with a bit of help of course.