A few days ago, the Victorian shadow minister for education, Dr Mathew Bach publicly called out and blamed parents for the rise in school refusal numbers. Claiming School refusers need tough love.
The shadow minster for education shared his opinion via the Age on Monday January 30th.
“School refusal stems from anxiety, which – as we know – is a serious mental health condition. And because of this, parents naturally empathise deeply with their children. Yet what the growing number of children who refuse to attend school need most is tough love. Going to school must simply be non-negotiable.”
Dr Bach was a former head of wellbeing.
Dr Bach was the head of student wellbeing at two independent schools in Melbourne, before entering parliament in 2020. The shadow minister went on to share examples of what he thought tough love should look like. However, for many of us with neurodivergent kids we would refer to this as trauma. Dr Bach went on to share his tough love example.
“Some school refusers will swear at their parents, others kick – one parent showed me the deep bite marks. I said, “Well done, we’ll take it from here.” Because, hard as it was, these parents got their children to school. And that’s the most important thing.”
Read more: School Can’t, a national crisis we can no longer ignore.
Trauma 101
First and foremost, we need to acknowledge that for the majority of kids who experience school refusal or school Can’t, it is not a choice. It is not simply the case of the child wanting to stay home and play computer games or eat takeaway. These students are genuinely experiencing pain, stress, anxiety and fear when they enter the school gates.
Getting to them to the school gate is by far the least most important thing. In fact, it is very low on the priority list compared to saving their lives. And the fact that you did not acknowledge this shows us how little you understand school trauma for the neurodivergent learner.
For many of us parents battling this every day, we watch our kids struggle. And in many cases, we watch as our children self-harm. And in extreme cases, we watch as they attempt to take their own life. For us, tough love is not going to save our kids. However, it will boost attendee numbers for schools, increase mental health issues among our young people and fuel an already high number of school refusers throughout Australia.
Parents voice their opinion.
Many parents who have children experiencing school refusal are calling out Dr Bach for this simplistic and, in our opinion quite dangerous view.
Thank goodness he is no longer responsible for leading a school. Hopefully he was replaced by someone with understanding and empathy.
— 3Linda Bentvelzen (@LindeeSue) February 1, 2023
The community agrees.
Katie Koullas the CEO and founder of Yellow ladybugs, the charity supporting autistic females, also spoke to the ABC about the shadow minister’s opinion on school refusal.
“We have heard from thousands and thousands of children who are in School Can’t”
“What we need is a trauma informed, collaborative and curious and empathetic approach. Because if parents could get their children to school they would, and if children could go, they would. It’s not a choice”
Katie went on to express how much this hurt the community with an outpouring of distress after Dr Bach expressed his unsubstantiated and dangerous opinion.